Reflective Saturdays #6

Sometimes the people you meet in life despite being with you for such a short period of time can make such a big difference. They can make years of friendship in comparison to weeks of friendship into similar things. The people you meet on your journey change you in some shape or form. The people I meet on a night out affect my way of thinking, in some way. The people I see on the streets place a role in how I see the world around me. 

Having been to Hong Kong on several occasions I don't think I expected it to alter my thoughts about my many things. I didn't think I'd meet the people I met, I didn't realise how valuable these few weeks would be. I've met people from around the globe, people who have moved across the globe for work, people who simply came to party, people who came to explore. The people you meet in places like Hong Kong is an endless variety. It also makes you realise how small the world really is, how people are so linked together with all the people we meet. 

Once you've met these wide variety of people you realise people talk to just talk. It matters what you say, but not all the time. It matters what you say if you are saying something hurtful, it matters when it is not the truth; but other than that talk is for fun, which is why language to so many people is a fun learning curve. Me being one of them, language is so enjoyable, it allows you to have a little laugh when you do not want to talk about a serious subject. Just a little giggle about the differences of how people speak, the accents people have or the way people pronounce words. 

All in all, do not ever be afraid to talk, there is no loss in speaking to that person first. In most cases they are probably waiting for you too, thinking the same thing. If they do not want to talk they will probably make it obvious in the first encounter. So then what have you lost? Nothing, if anything you would have lost time thinking about what if. So in other words, without sounding like a nike advert, JUST DO IT.

If you want to speak to somebody, just do it.

If the situation might be awkward, so what? just do it.

You never know, the people you meet in that situation and the conversations you have may change you for the better. The people you meet through one conversation with a single new person may lead to countless opportunities and exciting new direction in your life. 

Reflective Saturdays #5

Hello from Hong Kong, as I sit in my little flat in Jordan. Having decided that a party boat trip organised wasn't where I wanted to be today, at 2:20pm I am sat here. My family are coming to visit a little later, and I am extremely excited! My grandma who I have not had the chance to see in over a month, and my aunties in uncles in a long long time. 

So upon coming here, I knew that I was ready. After what I would almost call a fail in Rabat, I was ready for my next adventure, one where I was fully able to immerse myself in a culture that I had the perfect amenities to adjust to. I was excited, heading onto the 12 hour flight by myself was daunting, but I am not a child anymore. What just one week has made me realise is, we as individuals should never feel we are missing out on anything. Upon this years journeys through different countries, I have found myself more willing to be alone. From the age of 15 I have not had this opportunity, becoming 15 I entered an extremely long relationship, 3 1/2 years to be exact, and then a few months here and there with the same person. Upon leaving this relationship, I was once again thrust into a situation where I was spending time with another person almost 24/7. Until now I never realised how exhausting it is to spend every single waking moment with other people. I used to feel like I needed to plan every waking moment, in making sure I wasn't alone for any ONE moment. I never wanted to spend time alone, I never left any room in my life. Silence did not cut it. I did not want to feel like I was missing out. When in actual fact I was missing out on myself, I never took time for me, to think, to feel and to do anything that enriched my mental state. The feeling of being alone to me was lonely. 5 years later, sometimes I still find myself falling into this trap of feeling "left out" if I do not attend events organised, and then there are times where I do feel alone. But, from all those years of feeling like I needed to be busy, be with people I've realised that I like being alone and it is not lonely, I get to do what I please, and at the pace I decide. Of course, I almost do always go to events planned, for example in this week of arriving in HK, I have stayed at home for 1 evening! That is after returning home from work from 10am till 6:30pm, only once did I decide to stay in. 

I love social events, I love talking to people and I love meeting new people. I like a drink here and there, I like to going to bars and clubs, I like shopping, I love eating out, and above all I like doing all those things with my friends and family. But in the middle of all of that, I like to readjust my emotions and just be myself for a little. 

Credit: Somewhere on Tumblr..

I find it completely okay to be by yourself, decide that you do not want to attend certain events, and events that just are not for you. Do not ever feel like you are missing out, because what is another boat party going to do for you? Nothing more than all the others did. What will you miss from just one dinner with everybody? Probably nothing. 

So in all these years of trying to squeeze everything into a schedule, I just need some time to be by myself, to not have to talk to anybody I do not wish to, to not have to see those I do not wish to. It is empowering, and it makes it ever more special when you see and speak to people, because you chose to; not because you felt pressured to. You will only ever feel lonely if you do not like your own company, so love it, embrace it; because I promise you will love it, more than you would have ever imagined. 

Reflective Saturdays #4

Not settling. I think sometimes we get caught up and believe we don't deserve something. There is a famous quote that always floats around from the book Perks of Being A Wallflower, and that is, "we accept the love we think we deserve". Because I have seen this quote so often it is ingrained in my mind, even if sometimes it does not necessarily make a difference to my decisions or my days. Though sometimes it does. 

When I am thinking about dating somebody, or whether I should or should not stop seeing somebody. Or whether I should or shouldn't do something or go and see my friends, this is a quote I like to listen to. If you don't think you deserve better, then you will never get it, because you will always settle for less than what you are worth. If a friend isn't being the most loyal to you, or not giving you enough time from their schedule, and you still stick around, it is because you do not think you deserve better. In actual fact, you do, everybody does. Do not let somebody who treats you like an option stay as a "friend", they do not deserve that title. The same with a relationship, do not let them put everything before you and still decide to stick around, because when they find something more interesting, another more interesting they are bound to get up and leave. Trust me, you deserve better. If you find that your day is going downhill, it is more than likely that you decided when you woke up this is not going to be a good day. You might be having a bad day, but you deserve better, so believe it. You deserve better, but you actively have to seek it. Do not think that deserving something means you get it straight away, or that you get it without some perseverance. Believe that you deserve it, go after it, (or leave it in other circumstances) and eventually you will have what you deserve. Accept that you can have these opportunities, accept that you can have better people in your life. 

Reflective Saturdays #3

As summer has arrived the amount of free time I have to myself has increased significantly. No longer needing to focus my attention on work and people. This has given me time to look through some of my old favourites on the internet. Little gems like www.elitedaily.com and Thought Catalog. I've always loved reading, but as I've grown up my interest in reading fiction has diminished. It just makes so much sense to me, and so much more motivational when I read blog, pieces of writing from people who are a little more experienced. Those who have experienced things, travelled places, made mistakes. 

Though I don't ever think by reading these I will avoid mistakes, it just makes for an enjoyable read. 

One piece I read in particular is 10 of Life's Secrets That No One Told You.

One of the "secrets" that really stood out to me is: Your best friends will change and so will you.

I still acknowledge many of those around me as being my "best friends" and sometimes I wonder whether they think the same. However, I have also acknowledged that we are different. We aren't the same and we will never be. We will never be the 15 year olds who spent every day together, we won't work together, we won't date together and we won't get angry, upset and enjoy our summers together.

It's been difficult for me to acknowledge people as my best friends, it took me a while but something did change and I did start using the term "best friends".

As we've moved away from each other, I know that we are no longer surrounded by the same people; no longer study the same subjects, no longer talk every day. At the beginning it seemed difficult, I was so focused on keeping things together with a guy that I completely forgot how important it was to keep a long distant friendship together.

We still see each other when we return home, but it just isn't the same.

And I think people will always tell you that it is okay. At this point in our life we are different, different from each other and the old us. But that's okay, because we shared memories and we were happy. We're happy now, we have just connected with different people. We have also connected in a different way.

I still find you to be one of my closest friends, I find you inspiring and motivational when I really need it in my life. Your ambitious nature has encouraged me to thrive and experience. So if one day we meet on a path much like our old one, I will embrace it and know that I will enjoy it as much as our last journey. But for now, I appreciate that we are in each others lives, even if we are going on different journeys with different people.

We can sometimes forget about those who are still so close to our side, the peoples who's journeys crossed our paths and for all the others that will continue to be with us.

So I'll love the memories we've had, hope for me, but know that people come into your life for a reason, and sometimes they leave for no reason at all, and you leave theirs without reason also. Whoever they may be, you will continually love them, especially those who were your best friends. You'll love them eternally for just being them, for now or in the past. 

Reflective Saturdays #2

Lately, I have found that I was unmotivated to even leave the house, personal issues with yourself can be the route of this problem, as it is slightly for me. But then you have to decide that your thoughts about yourself only consume your own life and your own time. People notice but they do not care. If you are a little larger then you'd like to be, so what? If somebody notices and says "you've put on a little bit of weight.." so what? Within finishing that sentence they will probably have forgotten about that and moved on. It is only you worrying about that bit of extra fat around your arms, your extra chubby legs lately. These people won't leave you or the situation because they've noticed you've gained a few pounds. They aren't fixated on your sausage like fingers. 

It is something everybody does, and some suffer more than others. Overthinking can be problematic, but it is more the control of your thoughts than to constantly think. It is taking the time to think about thoughts that matter, think through things thoroughly instead of just constantly thinking. As the quote above says "rule your mind or it will rule you", do not let negative thoughts rule your life. Do not let it do negative things to your life and your body.

What I'm trying to say is take some time to notice what you're thinking. Reflect on the things you are thinking about and this can lead to controlling them. I'm not saying controlling things makes everything better, but it can help. Sometimes I subconsciously feel like people are fixated on my flaws, when they probably don't care. They've noticed it, now what? You've noticed a spot on your friends face, now what? You don't care, and that is how others feel too. 

If you find yourself constantly thinking about one thing, just take a moment to breath. Think about it. I like to call it the buddha way. My siblings laughed at me when I said I wanted to become a buddhist. I think I was just having a moment, but I do like to take the teachings of buddhism, the mindfulness aspect and putting out into the world good, as you would like to come back to you. 

I guess what I want to say is, be mindful. Think about yourself, think about other people. Think about different things. 

Reflective Saturdays #1

So sometimes besides eating food and travelling I get a little reflective. I need to make decisions in my life and move forward with hard decisions and deal with the circumstances. So to follow this, I would like to take you on my journey of the little reflections I have on occasion. 

To begin I have this quote: 

Source: http://www.hplyrikz.com

I think people always believe that giving up is failure, and you know it probably is. You have failed to complete something which is just the same as failing it all together, because you did not get the results you wanted. However, sometimes failures need to happen. Giving up in situations need to happen. Sometimes you won't always reach your destination, and maybe because you weren't meant to be there in the first place. 

I am a believer in what is meant to be will be, whether this is the places you go, the people you meet and the circumstances that arise in your life. Though not a strong believer of this mantra, I think it gives me a positive outlook on life. It allows me to be positive no matter the situation, if it is a bad situation, it was meant to be. It was meant to be so that better things can come into your life, or if not just to allow you to experience and make those mistakes. Being positive makes every aspect of your life better. It makes you more willing to do things, be with people, and all round makes you happier. Even if you don't believe it, maybe give this mantra a try. You never know, it may make a difference in some part of your life. 

Giving up can disappoint you, it can disappoint others and this feeling may stay with you. However if you are unhappy in a place, a situation or with the people.. why stay? If you can't come up with enough reasons for yourself to stay. If the negatives out way the positive it is your time to leave. It is time to accept that you probably aren't ready for this challenge.. and it's okay. People develop at different stages of their life, people go through different experiences to make them who they are. This will inevitably lead people to feeling comfortable in different places. It's just how it is. Develop at your own rate, if you want to do something GO AHEAD AND DO IT. If you don't want to do something, really think about the pros and cons and make a decision. If it all comes down to more cons, don't do it. The decision is yours. We have been privileged with a chance to make our own decisions.