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Blogtober #20

Monday, 20 October 2014

Blogtober #20: Biggest Fear
What scares me most is not being good enough. 
It is not being good enough in the eyes of other people that I am scared of. I know we are constantly told we shouldn't worry about what others think, but it is difficult to avoid what others think. Because even if you don't ask for their opinion, people will always give it to you. 
For some, it just spurts out of their mouth and they can't stop it. It is how they have been raised to be.
I think this always falls into the category of the fear of losing. You don't want to ever feel like you've lost, but it's inevitable. Being not good enough can be personal too. Not just in your professional achievements, but in your personal relationships.
You can be not good enough, the people you are with may find you not good enough. And you will lose them. Losing them sounds like it was your fault, sometimes it is sometimes it isn't. But there is always this fear that you aren't good enough, that they will find somebody better.
Just like a professional relationship, your boss could find somebody better. 
This fear of losing and not being good enough coincides.
I am working on this. 
It takes a little while to grow confidence and not validate your existence, your personality and your appearance from others. 
You probably don't remember your first disappointment, and you probably won't remember your last. We are constantly being disappointed by ourselves, the people around us. But you can't be disappointed by things you don't expect. 
This above quote used to make me feel so wronged, as if somebody else put my hopes high and just disappointed me. 
Just know you yourself can set the standards and the hopes.
Work hard, concentrate, hopes are reachable.

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